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10 Fun Ways to Paint Your World

The daily grind can leave us feeling uninspired, with the same routine thoughts on repeat. As a result, we find our thoughts stuck in black and white. But here’s the catch. We can actually change this. The following are 10 vibrant ways to add a splash of color to your mental landscape, making each day a little more interesting.

  1. Sensory Adventures: Our senses are powerful gateways to new experiences. Take a walk in nature, focusing on the textures you feel, the sounds you hear, and the vibrant colors around you. Savor a delicious meal, paying attention to the different flavors and aromas. The idea is to engage your senses fully, and watch your thoughts come alive!
  2. Embrace the Power of Play: Remember the joy of coloring as a child? We can still do that! Dedicate time to coloring books, doodling, or even finger painting. Let go of expectations and simply enjoy the process. Play some upbeat music, light a scented candle, if necessary, and create a fun atmosphere to ignite your creativity.
  3. The Soundtrack of Your Day: Music has a profound effect on our mood. Start your day with an energizing playlist to get your creative juices flowing. Throughout the day, curate different soundtracks for different tasks. Upbeat music for chores, calming melodies for focus work, and something inspiring for creative ventures.
  4. Flip the Script: Challenge your usual way of thinking. Approach familiar tasks from a different angle. Try a new recipe with unusual ingredients, walk your usual route in the opposite direction, or even write with your non-dominant hand (I am not good at this, by the way). These little disruptions can spark new ideas and perspectives.
  5. Spark Curiosity: There’s a world of fascinating information waiting to be discovered. Pick a topic that piques your interest, however random it may seem, and delve into it. Learn about the history of buttons, the science of dreams, or the different types of clouds. Feed your curiosity, and your thoughts will be bursting with new colors.
  6. Embrace the Unexpected: Sometimes, the most interesting experiences come from unplanned detours. Take a spontaneous walk down an unfamiliar street, strike up a conversation with someone new, or say yes to an unexpected invitation. Embrace the thrill of the unknown and see where it leads you.
  7. Write Your Own Story: Journaling is a fantastic way to explore your thoughts and feelings. Write down your dreams, anxieties, or even fictional stories. Write in different formats – poetry, free verse, even a dialogue between you and your future self. Let your imagination run wild and see what stories emerge.
  8. The Power of Gratitude: Focusing on the good things in life adds a natural brightness to your day. Start a gratitude journal and take a few minutes each day to write down what you’re thankful for. Appreciating the little things can shift your perspective and color your thoughts in positive light.
  9. Create a Vision Board: Don’t just dream it, visualize it! Create a vision board filled with images, quotes, and words that represent your goals and aspirations. Surrounding yourself with these visuals will inspire you and keep your thoughts focused on achieving your colorful dreams.
  10. Share Your Spark: The most vibrant colors shine brighter when shared with others. Teach a friend a new skill, host a creative game night, or even start a blog to share your colorful ideas with the world. When you share your passions with others, you not only inspire yourself but also color the world around you.

Remember, coloring your thoughts is more like a journey, not a destination. Experiment a lot, try to have fun, and embrace the joy of living a life bursting with color!

Notes on Negativity Bias

Negativity bias refers to the tendency of humans to pay more attention to and give more weight to negative experiences, emotions, or information compared to positive ones. This bias can influence perceptions, decision-making, and overall well-being. Here’s how you can deal with it:

  1. Awareness: Recognize when negativity bias is at play. Awareness can help you understand why certain negative thoughts or events may have a stronger impact on you.
  2. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Question the validity of negative thoughts. Ask yourself if there’s evidence to support them, or if there might be alternative explanations.
  3. Practice Gratitude: Cultivate a habit of focusing on the positive aspects of your life. Regularly acknowledge and appreciate the good things, no matter how small they may seem.
  4. Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment. This can help you distance yourself from negative thoughts and prevent them from controlling your actions.
  5. Limit Exposure to Negativity: Be mindful of the media you consume and the company you keep. Limit exposure to negative news or individuals who constantly dwell on negative topics.
  6. Positive Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to counteract negative self-talk. Repeat affirmations that affirm your worth, abilities, and potential.
  7. Seek Social Support: Share your concerns and emotions with supportive friends, family members, or a therapist. Having a supportive network can provide perspective and help you reframe negative experiences.
  8. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself during challenging times. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend facing similar difficulties.

By incorporating these strategies into your daily life, you can mitigate the effects of negativity bias and cultivate a more balanced perspective on yourself and the world around you.

Positivity Ratio

The ratio often cited in psychological studies regarding the “positivity ratio” is 3:1. This means that it takes three positive thoughts, experiences, or inputs to counteract the effects of one negative feedback or thought. This ratio is based on research by psychologists such as Barbara Fredrickson, who have studied the impact of positive emotions on well-being. However, it’s essential to note that the exact ratio may vary for different individuals and contexts. The key is to focus on increasing positive experiences and emotions to counterbalance the influence of negativity.

Brain When Experiencing Negativity Bias

When the human brain encounters negative stimuli or experiences, several mechanisms come into play, contributing to the phenomenon known as negativity bias:

  1. Amygdala Response: The amygdala, a part of the brain involved in processing emotions, particularly fear and threat, responds more strongly to negative stimuli than positive or neutral ones. This heightened response to negativity helps prioritize survival and self-protection.
  2. Memory Formation: Negative events tend to be remembered more vividly and for longer periods compared to positive ones. This is partly due to the amygdala’s interaction with the hippocampus, which is involved in memory formation. The emotional intensity of negative experiences enhances memory consolidation.
  3. Attentional Bias: The brain directs more attention toward negative stimuli, leading individuals to notice and focus on potential threats or dangers in their environment. This selective attention to negativity helps individuals anticipate and respond to potential risks.
  4. Cognitive Processing: Negative information is often processed more deeply and extensively than positive information. The brain engages in rumination, dwelling on negative thoughts and experiences, which can amplify their impact and prolong their influence on mood and behavior.
  5. Evolutionary Adaptation: Negativity bias may have evolved as an adaptive mechanism to prioritize survival in ancestral environments where threats were more prevalent. In modern contexts, this bias persists, influencing perception, decision-making, and emotional responses.

Overall, the human brain’s response to negativity bias involves a complex interplay of neural processes, including emotional processing, memory formation, attentional mechanisms, and evolutionary influences. These mechanisms collectively contribute to the prioritization of negative information and experiences in cognition and behavior.

Brain Hack (? )

While there’s no simple “hack” to completely eliminate negativity bias, there are strategies you can employ to mitigate its effects:

  1. Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge negative thoughts by examining evidence for and against them. Replace irrational or overly negative thoughts with more balanced and realistic ones.
  2. Mindfulness Meditation: Practice mindfulness to observe negative thoughts and emotions without judgment. Mindfulness can help you develop awareness of your thought patterns and cultivate a more accepting and non-reactive attitude toward them.
  3. Gratitude Journaling: Regularly write down things you’re grateful for, even small ones. Focusing on gratitude can shift your attention away from negativity and cultivate a more positive outlook.
  4. Positive Visualization: Visualize positive outcomes and experiences to counteract negative anticipations or worries. This can help rewire your brain to focus more on positive possibilities.
  5. Physical Exercise: Engage in regular physical activity, which can boost mood and reduce stress, thereby counteracting the physiological effects of negativity bias.
  6. Social Support: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can provide perspective and encouragement during difficult times.
  7. Limit Exposure to Negativity: Be mindful of the media you consume and the conversations you engage in. Limit exposure to negative news or individuals who tend to dwell on negative topics excessively.
  8. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during challenging times. Acknowledge that everyone experiences negativity and setbacks, and be gentle with yourself when facing difficulties.

By incorporating these strategies into your daily life, you can gradually reduce the influence of negativity bias and cultivate a more balanced and resilient mindset.

Life’s Simple Pleasures

Boy running after a girl across a meadow in a park. Probably playing tag-you’re-it, the couple seem to be enjoying themselves.

There are countless tiny moments during the day that go unnoticed but are magical. Everything offers something to treasure, including the warmth of the sun, enjoying a cup of coffee, being in nature, living in the now, and discovering small acts of kindness. The secret to living a meaningful life lies in learning to appreciate these small pleasures. It’s important to take a moment to see the beauty all around us.

The Warmth of Sunlight

Imagine waking up to the gentle rays of sunlight streaming through your window, illuminating the room with a golden glow. There’s something incredibly soothing about the warmth of the sun on your skin. Helen Keller beautifully put it, “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows. It’s what the sunflowers do.”

Savoring a Cup of Coffee

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills the air, tantalizing your senses and signaling the start of a brand new day. Whether you take it black, with a splash of cream, or a sprinkle of cinnamon, that first sip is pure bliss. As Albert Camus once said, “But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?”

Connecting with Nature

There’s no denying the rejuvenating power of nature. Whether it’s a leisurely stroll through the park, a hike in the mountains, or simply sitting by the sea, being in nature has a way of grounding us and reminding us of life’s beauty. As John Muir famously stated, “In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks.”

Finding Joy in Little Acts of Kindness

It’s often said that it’s the little things that matter most, and that couldn’t be truer when it comes to acts of kindness. Whether it’s holding the door open for someone, lending a listening ear, or simply offering a smile to a stranger, these small gestures have the power to brighten someone’s day—and your own. As Aesop wisely said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

Embracing the Present Moment

In a world filled with distractions and constant busyness, it’s easy to lose sight of the present moment. But when we learn to slow down, breathe, and fully immerse ourselves in the here and now, we discover a sense of peace and contentment like no other. As Eckhart Tolle reminds us, “Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.”

So there you have it, my friends—just a few of life’s simple pleasures that make each day a little brighter. Remember to pause, appreciate, and savor these moments, for they are the true essence of a life well-lived.

The Art of ‘Just Enough’

In medio stat virtus,” as they say in Latin, translates to “Virtue lies in moderation.” This phrase emphasizes the importance of balance and moderation in all aspects of life.

But how do we achieve this balance in our daily lives?

It ultimately comes down to adopting a mindset of “just enough”not too much, not too little, but just the right amount that works for each individual. This mindset is crucial for living a peaceful and content life, as constantly striving for more can lead to an endless cycle of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

This is where the saying “Less is more” comes into play. By having fewer possessions and focusing on utilizing them to their fullest potential, we create more space for the truly important things in life. Embracing a mindset of “just enough” means making intentional choices that grant us freedom and prevent us from becoming entangled in distractions.

Let’s picture some of the benefits. Imagine savoring a simple, healthy meal instead of indulging in fast food. Think about tackling one important task at a time with focus, rather than attempting multiple tasks with diluted effort. Or not having enough free time because you have subscribed yourself to numerous commitments.

Merely visualizing that can already give you a sense of what it means to embrace the art of ‘just enough’. When you choose intention over feeling overwhelmed, you transform stress into purposeful pursuit, prioritizing quality over quantity.

All you have to do is give yourself permission to stop, before the point of diminishing returns.

What can this mindset give us?

Less stress and anxiety: Less striving results in reduced pressure, leading to a calmer and more peaceful mind. Isn’t this what all of us want?

Increased productivity: Focusing your effort on achievable tasks often yields better results than dispersing your energy. This not only boosts your confidence but also prepares you to tackle more challenging tasks ahead.

More time and energy: You’ll definitely have more time for hobbies, relationships, and things that truly spark joy.

Greater appreciation: By slowing down and focusing on the present, you learn to savor the simple things and cultivate gratitude—mindfulness in action.

And less waste, certainly, since you’ll consume fewer things.

☘️ ☘️ ☘️

Some people might equate embracing the mindset of ‘just enough’ with laziness. It’s not. Instead, it is about making conscious choices towards efficiency and well-being. It’s prioritizing yourself in a good way while also taking care of the environment simultaneously.

Your journey of embracing the mindset of ‘just enough’ is always personal. What works for you might not work for others, and vice versa. You have to find your own ways and approach it in a manner that aligns with your preferences and circumstances, rather than merely following what the media dictates.

It is personal in a sense that you’re liberating yourself from the “more is more” message spread by society. Freedom is only possible by embracing ‘just enough’ in all aspects of life. Once you consistently adopt this mindset, you’ll be surprised at how much peace and joy it brings to your life. And isn’t that the kind of life you’re looking for?

I’m going to leave you with this beautiful quote,

"Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty." — Socrates

Ketika Hidup Tak Sesuai Harapan

Saya baru saja membaca artikel di blog Joshua Becker, Becoming Minimalist, yang sering saya kunjungi. Biasanya ada hal-hal baik yang saya temukan dari tulisan-tulisannya, dan benar saja bahwa pagi ini saya menemukan kembali tulisan yang bagus berjudul When Life Feels Far from What You Imagined.

Saya tetap merekomendasikan kamu yang membaca blog ini untuk tetap membaca versi asli artikelnya. Di sini saya akan merangkum saja tips dari Joshua tentang apa-apa yang bisa dilakukan saat kita berada dalam situasi di mana hidup yang kita impikan tidak sesuai dengan hidup yang sedang dijalani. Kita harus menyadari bahwa pengalaman seperti ini lumrah; bahwa umum terjadi ada ‘gap’ antara aspirasi kita tentang hidup yang seharusnya dengan hidup nyata yang sedang dijalani.

Berikut beberapa hal yang dapat dilakukan untuk menumbuhkan harapan saat kita berada dalam situasi seperti ini:

Terima keadaan saat ini: Sempurna atau tidak, itulah hidup kita. Penyesalan atau meratapi keadaan tidak akan mengubah apa pun.

Pahamilah bahwa tetap ada pilihan: Kita tentu tidak bisa mengontrol semua yang terjadi dalam hidup, tetapi kita tetap memiliki kendali atas bagaimana kita menyikapinya. Berfokuslah pada hal yang bisa diubah, yaitu sikap kita. Filsuf Epictetus pernah mengatakan satu hal terkait ini,

Temukan sukacita dalam hal-hal kecil: Nikmatilah momen-momen kecil seperti hangatnya sinar matahari, obrolan dengan teman, tawa anak kecil, atau bacaan yang bagus.

Kembangkan rasa syukur dan sikap positif: Selalu ada hal yang bisa disyukuri, bahkan dalam kondisi sulit. Menemukan alasan untuk bersyukur setiap hari atas hal-hal kecil namun berharga jauh lebih baik daripada meratapi keadaan.

Perkuat hubungan personal dengan orang lain: Hubungan yang baik sangat membantu memberikan dukungan ketika kita berada dalam situasi krisis. Keberadaan dukungan ini menjadi pengingat bahwa kita tidak bergelut sendirian. Bahkan untuk orang introvert seperti saya sendiri, dukungan dari keluarga dekat sangat membantu menguatkan dalam situasi-situasi sulit.

Hindari iri hati, dukunglah orang lain: Ketika kita mendukung keberhasilan orang lain, kita mengambil bagian dalam sebuah cerita kehidupan yang baik, dan ini bisa mendekatkan kita untuk mengalami emosi positif.

Sayangi diri sendiri: Menyadari bahwa merasa terpuruk adalah pengalaman manusiawi yang sangat lumrah akan membantu kita memperlakukan diri dengan penuh pengertian. Menanamkan dalam benak bahwa kesulitan bersifat sementara akan membantu kita untuk bertahan dalam pergumulan dengan tetap memiliki harapan bahwa persoalan yang tengah dihadapi (justru) bisa membuat kita semakin bijaksana. Seringkali permasalahan hidup mengajarkan kita hal-hal berharga.

Mencoba hal baru: Bergabung dengan klub hobi, komunitas pengembangan diri atau komunitas agama akan membantu kita me’redefinisi’ landasan hidup baru, menguatkan fondasi yang telah ada sebelumnya.

Mengembangkan diri: Belajar dan bertumbuh setiap hari, sekecil apa pun hal yang bisa dipelajari. Setiap hari adalah kesempatan untuk memperbaiki dan mengembangkan kapasitas diri.

Hidup tentu tidak selalu mudah dan sesuai harapan. Hidup itu kompleks dan sering tak terduga. Terlalu banyak faktor yang tak bisa kita kendalikan. Tetapi tetap saja hidup adalah perjalanan yang bisa menjadi cerita yang menarik, apabila kita bertahan untuk menyelesaikannya sampai akhir, sambil tetap belajar dan bertumbuh setiap hari.

Cara Sederhana Membuat Hidup Lebih Baik

Di artikel terbaru blog Joshua Becker ada 100 cara sederhana untuk membuat hidup menjadi lebih baik dan menarik. Silakan baca daftar lengkapnya di alamat ini, dan berikut 10 dari 100 cara tersebut yang menurut saya sudah memberikan manfaat nyata secara pribadi.

  1. Berdoa;
  2. Tersenyum tulus setiap hari;
  3. Cari waktu untuk menyendiri;
  4. Minum banyak air putih;
  5. Baca 1 bab dari buku yang disukai;
  6. Tidur lebih awal;
  7. Rapikan tempat tidur segera setelah bangun pagi;
  8. Mandi;
  9. Minum secangkir teh atau kopi;
  10. Mendengarkan musik yang bisa membangkitkan semangat.

Sebagai penutup, quote berikut ini barangkali bisa menjadi bahan refleksi tentang menjalani hidup,

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Proses Bersyukur: Addition by Subtraction

Masih dengan tema besar bersyukur.

Bagaimana sebenarnya kita bisa mengapresiasi sesuatu atau seseorangdan selanjutnya bisa mensyukurinya? Ada prosesnya: penjumlahan dengan pengurangan (addition by subtraction). Maksudnya adalah bahwa kita akan sangat mudah ‘melihat’ alasan di balik rasa syukur apabila kita memvisualisasikan bagaimana hidup kita tanpa sesuatu atau seseorang.

Sebuah ilustrasi. Jika ingin bersyukur atas handphone usang kita yang masih berfungsi dengan baik (di tengah bombardir berbagai iklan handphone terbaru), kita bisa membayangkan kesulitan-kesulitan apa saja yang akan timbul apabila kita tidak memiliki handphone sama sekali. Kita akan kesulitan berkomunikasi dengan keluarga dan teman-teman, juga kesulitan dalam bekerja karena perangkat genggam sudah menjadi alat bantu pokok dalam bekerja saat ini. Kesadaran akan manfaat dan kemudahan yang ditawarkan barang ini, walaupun sudah usang, akan menambah kesadaran kita bahwa ternyata, walaupun ia usang, ia masih sangat berguna. Inilah yang dimaksud penjumlahan dengan pengurangan tadi, a process of addition by subtraction.

Visualisasi yang sama bisa juga diterapkan untuk orang-orang yang hadir dalam kehidupan kita. Tanpa mereka, kisah kehidupan kita tentu akan sangat berbeda, dan dari itu kehadiran mereka menjadi sesuatu yang kita syukuri. Prosesnya sama, addition by subtraction. Dan akan lebih indah lagi apabila mereka bisa tahu bahwa kita bersyukur atas kehadiran mereka: mereka akan menyadari bahwa kehidupan mereka berdampak.

Maka ketika suatu saat kita merasa membutuhkan tambahan semangat, barangkali visualisasi seperti ini bisa membantu. Saya percaya bahwa walaupun kita sedang berada dalam situasi yang sulit, kita tetap bisa bersyukur, apabila kita menyadari bahwa anugerah dalam bentuk-bentuk yang lain tetap mengalir bagi kita.

Again, addition by subtraction. 🙂

Salam,

Paulinus Pandiangan

Tentang Persepsi dan Sikap Orang Lain

Aplikasi filsafat Stoikisme yang paling terasa dalam kehidupan pribadi saya adalah tentang menyikapi persepsi dan/atau sikap orang lain kepada kita. Ini adalah area dimana saya merasa filsafat ini menjadi sangat membantu karena ia mengajarkan tentang dikotomi kendali (yang juga telah saya tulis juga di Buku Kecil Stoikisme berformat PDF).

Sebelum saya memahami lingkup kendali, persepsi orang lain tentang diri saya adalah sesuatu yang banyak menyita pikiran. Apa kata orang? Bagaimana nantinya orang akan bersikap pada saya? dan semacamnya menjadi pertanyaan yang mengganggu. Saya menjadi mudah khawatir pada reaksi atau sikap orang lain, sesuatu yang sesungguhnya berada di luar kendali saya.

Setelah mengenal dan memahami lingkup kendali, saya menjadi semakin sadar bahwa ketenangan diri saya seharusnya tidak terganggu oleh persepsi dan/atau sikap orang lain, sepanjang saya telah berusaha menjadi pribadi yang baik. Pun kalau saya melakukan sebuah kesalahan, semua orang juga melakukan kesalahan, dan itu lumrah. Yang lebih penting adalah bagaimana selanjutnya saya menjalani kehidupan dan tetap tak patah semangat untuk memperbaiki diri, berubah perlahan namun pasti menjadi pribadi yang lebih baik dari saya yang sebelumnya. That’s what matters in the end.

Dan karena itu persepsi dan/atau sikap orang lain menjadi tidak relevan. Bagaimanapun baiknya sikap kita, akan tetap akan ada orang yang bereaksi negatif, dan orang yang tepat akan selalu mendukung kita untuk menjadi lebih baik. Jadi semuanya kembali pada intensi kita. Living with intention menjadi frase kunci di sini.

Saat ini, saya bersyukur bahwa kalau pun menyadari ada persepsi orang lain yang tidak tepat tentang diri saya, atau sikap orang lain yang negatif terhadap diri saya, saya sudah bisa segera menyadari bahwa itu adalah sesuatu yang di luar kendali saya, tidak bisa saya pengaruhi sepenuhnya, dan karena itu, tidak layak mengganggu ketenangan mental saya. Melepaskan keinginan untuk selalu baik di cerita orang lain adalah sesuatu yang membebaskan. I am free, whatever people think or say.

And you too are free.

Menjadi Stoik yang Gagal

Konotasi umum yang beredar terkait Stoikisme adalah bahwa menjadi Stoik berarti berhasil ‘menekan’ perasaan. Berlatih menjadi Stoik adalah berlatih untuk tidak menunjukkan perasaan.

Pernyataan kedua itu pada dasarnya ada benarnya. Orang-orang Stoik memang cenderung untuk tidak menunjukkan secara eksplisit perasaannya. Itulah pilihan sikap yang diambil dalam menghadapi setiap kejadian (event). Orang Stoik akan berfokus pada pilihan sikap yang diambilnya dalam setiap situasi, sehingga apa yang lebih terlihat adalah pilihan sikap atau tindakan mereka, bukan terutama ekspresi dari apa yang sedang dirasakan. Dengan kata lain, seorang Stoik adalah orang yang tetap bisa meneteskan air mata, akan tetapi lebih memilih untuk berfokus pada sikap / tindakan untuk menyikapi kesedihan yang membuatnya meneteskan air mata.

Ilustrasi Orang Stoik

Sangat sulit memisahkan antara emosi dengan pilihan sikap yang diambil seseorang dalam situasi tertentu. Entah bagaimana pun, faktor emosi tetaplah suatu faktor penting dalam perilaku manusia yang tidak bisa dihilangkan begitu saja, meskipun memang pengaruh emosi ini tetap bisa disikapi sedemikian dengan rasionalitas. Karena itu menjadi orang yang sepenuhnya Stoik (atau menjadi sage), menurut hemat saya, adalah suatu ideal yang sangat sulit untuk dicapai, atau bahkan tidak mungkin.

Karena itulah judul di atas muncul. Menjadi seorang Stoikyang gagal untuk sepenuhnya Stoikpun, sebenarnya, sudah bagus! Ketika Anda berhasil mengelola emosi dengan baik dan tidak larut terlalu dalam, dan mencoba untuk menggunakan rasio Anda untuk memikirkan reaksi yang sehat atas apa yang Anda alami, itu adalah jalan yang sulit. Tidak mudah untuk bangkit melampaui pengaruh emosi dan mencoba untuk rasional, apalagi ketika menghadapi suatu pengalaman pahit atau menyedihkan.

Bahkan di saat Anda gagal menjadi Stoik yang sepenuhnya pun, Anda tetap menjadi Stoik ketika berusaha bersikap tenang dan rasional dalam berbagai situasi. And that’s what matters more.

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